Parker Lewis Can’t LOLZ

I just heard they’re remaking “It” as an R-Rated movie, no Tim Curry, etc.  I don’t want to be classified as someone who is quick to complain (I am – but I hate labels, dammit!), (editor’s note: People who label other people are douchebags) but unless Stephen King himself is involved (and has his bit part, as always), (editor’s note: A flick about Stephen King’s “bit part”? Now that would be a scary movie. Okay, last one I promise.) I’m gonna be pissed.  I can understand the “not using” Tim Curry (and who knows if he’d want to reprise the role), just as I know there’s an “A Nightmare on Elm Street” in the works sans Robert Englund (who probably would’ve done it because I love him). (more…)

Pump Up the Valium

…because May sweeps is killing me.  I’m losing several shows to cancellation as well as being inundated with ridiculous endings/decisions on others and am faced with the ranting (I mean, who does that? *lowers head in shame*) of other fans on the ones I was happy about.  Of course, I’ve never run a show (or stopped it, or been the PHAT lady who sings, which I think I was discriminated against; just like when I applied at Hooters and was turned down even after I swore I’d “put ‘em on when I got there” each day), or written for one, or really done anything but watched one and commented on it. Come to think of it – that is pretty sad – to complain, but not contribute to the betterment of television in a proactive way rather than a reactive one.  But hey, there are people who make money off of complaining about, er critiquing shows (*waves lovingly to TVGuide.com’s Matt Roush*), so I’m only half as bad as I think you thought I pondered to figure I was.  Don’t you think? [insert WTF?! expression and exclamation here] (more…)

Everybody’s got a show these days – The Coreys, T.O., Kathy Griffin, the Octomom, as well as reality t.v. “stars” who are famous for acting like douchebags.  I’m just waiting for a Kardashians spin-off that follows around Bruce Jenner’s face through the years…  But you might be thinking, Winnie – aren’t you simply giving them publicity by talking about them?  The answer to that is a big, resounding “No” – because who cares what I think, really – my blog is what people use to wipe with when their Spencer Pratt quote-of-the-day calendar runs out of A-holeisms.  (Er, but thanks for reading, and ladies – always remember to wipe front to back.)  But hey, I’m bored, and if you’re reading this, chances are, you are to, so I would like to present… (more…)

Garbage Day, Version 10.0:  Some Kind of Wonderful Writer/Director/Producer

I missed touching on Michael, Farrah, Ed McMahon, and so many others we’ve lost recently  and it’s not that their deaths are any less important or noteworthy, but (just as with the first three I mentioned and many others), John Hughes has touched my life for years to come, in his case with his entertaining movies, notable characters, and well, showcasing the gingers…

Having not personally known the man, I still feel the same sadness that comes about whenever the world loses someone amazing, be it an Entertainer, Politician, “Average Joe”, “Average Jane”, or “Average Jamiroquai”.

Every person might not like each and every John Hughes movie, but I figure at least one of them has made you laugh, lovingly or jokingly reminded you of an experience in your life, or been the source of a quote (butchered or “right on the money) you still use to this day.  Anyone… anyone… Bueller…?  We’re talking about gems like “The Breakfast Club”, “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”, Chevy Chase-Filled “National Lampoon’s … Vacation” movies, “Weird Science”, “Curly Sue”, “Uncle Buck”, “Home Alone”, “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles” and many more (my favorite of which I didn’t even mention)…

To make a long story short, which the people who read this know is hard for me, he wrote/directed/produced some films that influenced who I am today – not as much as my parents, but in a different way.  The best way to sum how I feel about John Hughes’ contribution to Cinema was in a conversation I had with STC’s own Carlisle, while 4 of us were on our way to my brother’s wedding.  In the midst of mocking Voletta Wallace for choosing Angela Bassett to play her in “Notorious”, we started playing this silly game of “who would we choose to play us/family/friends in a movie about ourselves”, and it spiraled into many other questions.  When “who would you choose to direct the movie about your life” came up, surprisingly it wasn’t me, but Carlisle who knew:

Me: Okay, now, who would you choose to direct a movie about yourself?

Passenger 1: Malcolm D. Lee

Passenger 57: Tim Burton

Me: Um… I don’t know, someone creepy like Hitchcock, or maybe I’ll choose John Woo so I can have some white doves during my Mother-In-Law fight scene!

Carlisle: I would’ve expected you to pick John Hughes…

Me: Uh, yeah – that’s what I said. *looks around sheepishly*

So when it comes to 28-year old Winnie, John Hughes – you ARE the Director.  May we meet in the Anthony Michael Foyer (the greeting place of pop-culture randomness) when I get done typing this.  I’ll be the one who’s Pretty In Pink holding a box of Sixteen Candles…

Thanks for reading,

Winnie

P.S. – I still love you, Duckie!  I got your mix tape…

…but if you try sometimes, you just might find – you get the new “V”…

Actually, I don’t know much about the new version of “V”, and I want to commit teenage suicide (meaning I’d have to find a way to go back 9 years) after hearing they’re pitching a “Heathers” t.v. adaptation (but if they do, I’m Red).  But there are a few gems I’m excited about seeing on the fall schedule (”Community”), some I want to have faith in (”Glee”), and one new guilty pleasure that I’m ashamed to admit here (not listing this one on your life).  Plus there was the challenge to review “Fringe” (which I still haven’t seen even though I’ve wanted to give it a chance for awhile though, and I even tried to watch on Fox.com, but apparently my computer has The Herpes right now), and I so wanted to do that in time for the new season… (I have 2 weeks, though – I wonder if its at my local video store?).

I’m just excited in general, in a kind of “the future’s so bright, I gotta wear 3-D glasses” about what’s coming up.  This isn’t the best year/season of television or movies or books ever made, but it’s nice to have some returning favorites (”House”) and some new prospects (”Modern Family”).  I’ve been living on “Robot Chicken” reruns and episodes of the Telenovela “Valeria” for long enough.  I say this to the networks – I’m glad as hell and I’m not gonna mock it anymore!*

*Except you know I will… regularly.

Thanks for reading,

Winnie