Garbage Day Vol. 4
Parker Lewis Can’t LOLZ
Caution: The following blog contains excessive ranting, Nick Cannonal situations, Lionel Richie references, and an overall hypocrisy not appropriate for small children. Reader Discretion is Advised.
I just heard they’re remaking “It” as an R-Rated movie, no Tim Curry, etc. I don’t want to be classified as someone who is quick to complain (I am – but I hate labels, dammit!), (editor’s note: People who label other people are douchebags) but unless Stephen King himself is involved (and has his bit part, as always), (editor’s note: A flick about Stephen King’s “bit part”? Now that would be a scary movie. Okay, last one I promise.) I’m gonna be pissed. I can understand the “not using” Tim Curry (and who knows if he’d want to reprise the role), just as I know there’s an “A Nightmare on Elm Street” in the works sans Robert Englund (who probably would’ve done it because I love him).
I should be the last one complaining about originality, but between these and the “Revenge of the Nerds” remake that I think was re-examined because of fan backlash (if only that had worked with Nick Cannon and “Love Don’t Cost A Thing” as a remake of “Can’t Buy Me Love”), I’m kind of saddened by the lack of new ideas. But first, let me contradict myself – on one hand, I think there’s pretty much “nothing new under the sun”. On the other hand – why do they have to remake movies that are already good and the quality still stands after at least a decade? Yes, I’m a hypocrite, as there are some remakes I love, such as “Imitation of Life” (1959), but I sincerely wish people would think to remake things other than blockbusters and cult classics. Here’s an idea (that I stole from someone else) – remake the really terrible ones***. Perhaps someone can find a way to erase the stank that “Juwanna Mann” left imprinted in my mind. But that was my fault for watching it (sadly, in the theater, no less), no one else’s.
You know what really annoys me, though – “retellings”. I’m not saying there is absolutely no validity to that term or good movies that fall into that category, but some people are simply trying to be trendy in avoiding the question of why they decided to do it and others are being just plain snobby. Despite most of his movies being in my personal movie collections as well as on my favorites list, Tim Burton pissed me the hell off with 2005’s “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”. I almost burned my “21 Jump Street” collection in effigy (yeah, that’s right – I had dummy cases held by my Lionel Richie effigy doll – it was marketed as “the kind of effigy doll that keeps the fire burning All Night Long”) because Johnny Depp was part of it. But don’t worry about me and Johnny - I just decided to cover up “Winona Forever” with “Wino Forever” and all was right in the world again. [/rant]
Thanks for your time,
Winnie
***Or do what they did with “Hulk”.
I think the remake of It qualifies under the “remake the really terrible ones” tenet. That book was the only book that has really scared me… ever. Truly creepy and nasty. And then they not only cleaned it up for TV and camped it up with Tim Curry as Pennywise, but they changed characters to fit the “stars.” In the book, Richie did voices. Harry Anderson couldn’t, so Richie didn’t do voices anymore.
But if you want to point to a rockin’ success of retelling and reinventing, look no further than your local multiplex and the latest incarnation of “Star Trek”.
Hey, Greg. You know, it was funny, I wrote this, sent it to Carlisle, and then I was reading other webcomics and saw “Star Trek” references. Despite the fact that the movie has been on the forefront of people’s minds, my television, and I’m saving Kellogg’s tokens (don’t masturbates if you want to eat corn flakes! – J. H. Kellogg) for these cool new t-shirts [/nerd], I didn’t even think about the new “Star Trek” until I read some of these other webcomics. I kind of laughed each time I encountered a mention of it, because here I wrote this piece of rant-y goodness on this subject, and right now my only problem with “Star Trek” is that I haven’t seen it yet. Thank you – to you and the others who recommended it – I have yet to find anyone who hasn’t, and the only reason I haven’t seen it yet is that I’ve had a busy week need a sitter for the other things going on more!
You know, I loved the book “It”, but I also loved the movie (and with some of the things that happened in the book, I don’t know that ABC or the general public was ready for it) – campiness, Harry Anderson, John Ritter and all. I think for a t.v. miniseries in 1990, it was very good. But you may have a point, and I’ll see how things progress.
Star Trek wasn’t perfect by any means but it did work as a reboot. Hulk was really good, and the new Batman’s have been great. That might be it for good. Star Wars prequels were suck, the omen? Boring suck. Halloween=suck. Black Christmas was ultra mega suck. (I watch a lot of horror) Point made pretty lady! Also the Shining TV movie was really bad, but then again book was really bad. Kubrick’s movie outshines the book 100-1.
Oh, TL – I LOVE the Horror genre (and have parties just to showcase the cheesier ones). And yes, the recent tv movies for “The Shining” (and “Carrie”)… to steal a word from the MAD Magazine lexicon – blecch! “Needful Things” was an abomination – that was one of the first Stephen King books I read PRIOR to seeing the movie, and I was sorely disappointed. I loved both the book and movie for Christine, The Shawshank Redemption deserves the hype and praise it gets, The Green Mile was well done – and I’d better stop now. I haven’t read The Shining, and I do love the movie, so I’ll have to read and compare…
It’s a toss-up, I have seen good and bad remakes… ones with great potential that sucked, and ones that didn’t need to be made that I actually liked. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was one of them- I was pissed at first too, but with an open mind, I enjoyed the new one too.
Not sure how I feel about “It”. I enjoyed the movie as a kid… haven;t seen it in ages, but I remember it being a tad cheasy, LOL. Would be curious to see it, but need to see previews first. What I really need to do it read the F’N book already, I feel ashamed that I haven’t.
You know, Dawn, you kind of hit the nail on the head on the “Charlie…” thing. For years, I loved Tim Burton (the only one I didn’t like being “The Nightmare Before Christmas, which, garners me boos regularly), Johnny Depp, and while I loved “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” (and still do), I feel I did start out with an open mind (even though a part of me found it unnecessary).
I’m a big Roald Dahl fan, and I remember hearing his widow said the Tim Burton version was closer to the tone and general themes he hit in his book. While I respect that (like people say about the “darker” Batman movies), I didn’t like the smack talk that was going on between Gene Wilder, Tim Burton, and Johnny Depp, so that hampered my enjoyment going in. When I saw the one Oompa Loompa guy, I was kind of disappointed.
P.S. – Shame! Shame! (Sorry, I just always wanted to shame someone, and it just happened to work out that you feel a bit “ashamed” for not having read the book…)
BTW, in the vein of Stephen King miniseries, the miniseries of “The Stand” rocked pretty hard. When I’d first heard Rob Lowe and Molly Ringwald were going to be in it, my reaction was “OMFG, no!” But they were actually good in it.
My favorite is “The Stand” – the book is one of my favorite books ever written, and I loved the ABC Miniseries. My parents and I watched that each night on its original airing as an event. From what I heard, the casting that most people who read the book had a problem with was Corin Nemec (ha – Parker Lewis – see, my titles do actually…er, occasionally… make sense!) as Harold Lauder – they didn’t feel he passed based on the description in the book . Jamey Sheridan rocked as Randall Flagg and hey – Dobber from “Coach”, anyone…anyone… Bueller?! I’m reading the comics that have recently been released and having fun seeing what’s been done to the series. And yes – Misery was what made Kathy Bates a household name in my book.
I will agree on “the Stand”. I haven’t seen it in awhile but it was good at the time. Tommyknockers was an abomination (dammit Jimmy Smits), and Needful things the film was below average. As always that leaves the Shining by Kubrick the only truly good thing to come out of the King book to film library.
Hmmmm… The King-to-Film library. Gotta give it up for “Misery”. And despite it’s cheesiness, I liked “The Running Man” (although it was written as “Richard Bachman”). Other King-to-Film titles (off the top of my head)…
Maximum Overdrive
Stand By Me
The Langoliers
Carrie
Salem’s Lot
Christine
Pet Sematary
The Green Mile
The Shawshank Redemption
What if you become more famous on Carlisle’s site then Carlisle? …that didn’t take long. Great topic Winnie. Don’t second guess your instincts. It’s just a waist of your time.
-C.