STC Presents: Winnie’s Retro-Pop #1
This is just a place holder name until we can come up with a better one. Below is what I hope to be, a regular feature here at Steal This Comic. So put your hands together, then pull them apart, then put them back together again (ya know, keep repeating this action until your shoulders hurt), for the STCommunity’s own:
Winnie!
21 Jump-Off Street
Yeah, I know – me writing for STC is a bit like showcasing the musical chops of that guy in The Mighty Mighty Bosstones who’s only there to dance. But Carlisle seems to think I’m worthy, so DEAL WITH IT! But that’s enough of my sparkling personality.
So, there’s that big virus that may or may not have infected your computers**. In my day, a virus meant JJ “Dyn-O-mite” Evans had to go to the clinic for some penicillin (I realize I could’ve spelled it differently for effect, but decided to pass) and warn all of his exes about possible contraction of VD. Now you have to worry about infecting or being infected by random strangers in cyber space, as well as your friends and family. But sadly, with the level of douchebaggery in the world today, this is something you can run into anytime – nowadays, a task as innocent (read: obsessive) as trying to figure out whether Greedo shot first (the truth is, it wasn’t Han Solo or Greedo - I shot first, but George Lucas cut me out of the film and replaced me with a Walkie-Talkie) could lead to a bigger surprise than getting punched by security guard Gary Coleman. But, worst case scenario, I can just download Shia LeBeouf porn check out STC at my local Popcopy…
Well, now that I’ve spread fear over the web (that’s right – you never know – the 1 person who reads this might tell 2 friends, and they’ll tell 2 friends, and they’ll tell 2 friends, and so-on, and so-on…), I think it’s time to sign off. No, really – sign off and don’t come back – I don’t know where your typing fingers have been. *Carlisle realizes Winnie just told people to leave his site and is subsequently the first person to be fired from a non-paying position …besides the Octomom nannies* Yeah, that’s right – I just mentioned her – take THAT, Billy Bush!
Thanks for reading! Love, peace, and Lionel Richie’s jheri curl grease,
Winnie
*tumbleweed rolls by*
**Unless you have a MAC. Grrr! Dammit, Justin Long was right!
So what is your relationship to the esteemed Carlisle, exactly? Maybe I missed the chart.
OOh, Lionel Richie shout out! Now I feel better about my morning. How many times a week do we get our new Winnie Blog?
Greg – if you’re wondering if I got on my knees and did a couple of favors to get this opportunity, yes – I did.
(Hey! Get your mind outta the gutter – I just mean I 1)scrubbed Carlisle’s bathroom floor and 2) picked up his dog’s feces, both of which involve getting on one’s knees.)
TL – It ain’t a party until there’s a Lionel Richie shout-out. I think you’ll be hearing from me every 2 weeks. *TL sets his computer to shut down every other week to avoid it*
ha! That was amusing Winnie. Friggin’ viruses. I swear Norton creates them, and then they’re the only ones with the antidote. Brilliant, if it weren’t so annoying.
What a neat idea, adding a blog to this site. Double the reason to swing by!
Not wondering what you did. I figure you aren’t his wife, because he ain’t Irish (at least not based on the NEWW photos). I thought you’re either an old friend or his sister (not saying you can’t be both). Just curious.
That reminds me, gotta add a “Steal This Comic” link to “Stuff I Read” on Brainhandles.com. Done.
So, now your comment on another post has me thinking you’re his wife’s sister.
*puts one finger on tip of nose, points other finger at Greg*
And kewpie doll for the gentleman!