This is just a place holder name until we can come up with a better one. Below is what I hope to be, a regular feature here at Steal This Comic. So put your hands together, then pull them apart, then put them back together again (ya know, keep repeating this action until your shoulders hurt), for the STCommunity’s own:

Winnie!

21 Jump-Off Street

Yeah, I know – me writing for STC is a bit like showcasing the musical chops of that guy in The Mighty Mighty Bosstones who’s only there to dance.  But Carlisle seems to think I’m worthy, so DEAL WITH IT!  But that’s enough of my sparkling personality.

So, there’s that big virus that may or may not have infected your computers**.  In my day, a virus meant JJ “Dyn-O-mite” Evans had to go to the clinic for some penicillin (I realize I could’ve spelled it differently for effect, but decided to pass) and warn all of his exes about possible contraction of VD.  Now you have to worry about infecting or being infected by random strangers in cyber space, as well as your friends and family.  But sadly, with the level of douchebaggery in the world today, this is something you can run into anytime – nowadays, a task as innocent (read: obsessive) as trying to figure out whether Greedo shot first (the truth is, it wasn’t Han Solo or Greedo - I shot first, but George Lucas cut me out of the film and replaced me with a Walkie-Talkie) could lead to a bigger surprise than getting punched by security guard Gary Coleman.  But, worst case scenario, I can just download Shia LeBeouf porn check out STC at my local Popcopy…

Well, now that I’ve spread fear over the web (that’s right – you never know – the 1 person who reads this might tell 2 friends, and they’ll tell 2 friends, and they’ll tell 2 friends, and so-on, and so-on…), I think it’s time to sign off.  No, really – sign off and don’t come back – I don’t know where your typing fingers have been.  *Carlisle realizes Winnie just told people to leave his site and is subsequently the first person to be fired from a non-paying position …besides the Octomom nannies*  Yeah, that’s right – I just mentioned her – take THAT, Billy Bush!

Thanks for reading!  Love, peace, and Lionel Richie’s jheri curl grease,

Winnie

*tumbleweed rolls by*

**Unless you have a MAC.  Grrr!  Dammit, Justin Long was right!