I’ve Been Watchin’ You…
December 3rd, 2008
Watchin’ me and I know you want it.
Well, I thought I’d throw this question out to you guys. It’s about stalkers. I want to know your funniest stalker story. Were you ever the stalker? Who stalked you? If it’s funny I want it here. If you’ve never commented, here’s your chance. Let me know your funniest, true, stalker story. If I can get ten stories, then I’ll share mine with you guys. So? How about it?
Since you asked (although its kind of disturbing)…
A few years ago I lived in a apartment with windows on the ground floor. For a while I thought I was seeing shadows in the windows, as if someone was watching me, but I wasn’t sure if it was all in my head.
Then one day I heard a scratching noise coming from my bathroom window. I walked over to see what it was and some dude’s head was sticking through my bathroom window! I said, “What the -?!” and he pulled his head out and was gone.
I went outside and confronted the guy. He had his back turned and mumbled, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just standing here.”
I’m like, “Dude! I just saw your head through my window.”
Then he looks away and stutters, “I’m sorry. I won’t do that again.” Then he leaves. I go back to my bathroom window and make sure that the lock is working again.
Evidently I didn’t check thoroughly enough because he opened the window again later that night. But this time when he tried to stick his head through he fell through the window and landed headfirst into the bathtub. Then he got up, said he was sorry, walked through my living room and let himself out the front door.
I’ll admit that it was dumb of me not to call the police sooner. I found later that this guy was a peeping tom, and that he was watching me like I suspected. But even the police woman taking my statement was snickering when I told her about how he fell through my bathroom window.
In high school, someone asked me if I like a certain girl. Well, I didn’t NOT like her, so what do you say? That you DON’T like her? That’s like saying you hate somebody. I just said, “I guess”. This spawned lots of rumors that really freaked the girl out. Teenagers like to make crazy things up about other people.
It didn’t help then, when one day, I showed up at her house to borrow some social studies notes from her sister. They didn’t know that’s why I was there. Nobody answered the door. I REALLY needed those notes, because I had to leave class for some reason I don’t remember now, so I kept knocking. Too long later, the dad answered the door. I asked if the sister was there, and he said that nobody by that name lived there. I’m not sure if they had moved, or if he was just trying to protect his daughter. Considering nobody answered for several minutes, I’d guess the latter.
My general rule growing up was always to say, “hell no I don’t like her!!” Even if I did. That’s some tough luck, but you’re right teenagers will make anything a rumor.
-C.
Some guy named Rockwell… I always felt like somebody was watchin’ me…
Oh, yeah, and Garrett – that sucks – that was just about a no-win situation. And C, it’s not just teenagers. I’ve noticed a trend – if a girl (not all but there are enough) likes a guy or he’s okay by her friends, he’s “showing his interest” by doing things like sending flowers, saying “hi”, etc… if a guy’s not attractive/acceptable to the peanut gallery, he’s “stalking” her.
I’m going to refrain from posting my stalker stories – yes, plural… ( namely because I’m the stalker, muahaha!) because they’re more sad than funny.
*gets off the computer and ducks back behind Garrett’s bushes*
Well, that’s too bad Winnie. I was hoping to get a good turn out on this one. I’ll repeat, if I can get ten true first person stalker stories, then I’ll share mine here. I guess I’m gonna be in the clear. The fact that I’m sitting in front of my laptop using your wifi in a tree, in front of your window…
…Well…I’m not counting that.
-C.
How did I miss seeing Ryan’s the other day? No, not his comment – his apartment? I had a friend who said there was a nice bathroom view from a ground floor window…
Just kidding. That’s jacked up! (I loved the “Dude, I just saw your head through my window.” confrontation.) That must have been creepy to experience that particular situation firsthand, but I have to say, knowing my gay male friends, they’d insist upon calling him a “Peeping THOM” rather than Tom…
Situations like that, where someone seems to have an impulse to do it where they “can’t help themselves” (I’m not condoning it, just noting the common cry of “these types”) is scary. I remember reading about a gentleman who saw a beautiful woman walking through an alley (I thought that people only did that in comic books) and cursed at himself, but pulled out Mr. Whipple (don’t squeeze the Charmin) and started… well, I think you get the point. Despite that, the lady – creeped out and disgusted as she was – just watched him do the whole thing and when he finished, he started crying and apologizing. I guess I have to be thankful that I don’t have that affliction… unless admin/C’s around…
That’s a rough one. Kinda reminds me “Bruthuh Man” on Martin. Alright guys. Keep ‘em comin’. And don’t worry, I’m not using any of these for material or anything.
-C.